The second part of the NEW EVOLUTION shall be the requirement of all to take a text-based intelligence test. If u hath fail said test, your brain shall be removed from your skull and you will become a brainless robot forced into slavery. I will personally write the test, different for every person.

When you fail the test, I might possibly give you a re-take, but only if you can perform the SECRET MONKEY DANCE OF DEATH. This dance shall be shown regularly on the home monitors. If you want to do the dance, it must be done exactly or your heart will be torn from your chest and eaten by The Supreme Commandant Grant Thatcher Borgandorffer, like in old Aztec ritual.

On your way to the testing center, you must chant the following three phrases in order:
1. Bill W. Williams is God.
2. I love Bill W. Williams.
3. Bill W. Williams will reward those who hate.

Since we will recieve no help from you (because you will most likely be dead) you will recieve no help on the testing day. Any questions asked will result in severe beatings. The lottery numbers drawn will be shown on the monitors every other evening. This system will continue for 105.43 years, and then the new system shall be implemented.

The new system shall be a birth test system. A special helmet shall be placed on the skull, as electrodes read mental capacity and muscle function. Failure of this new test will result in cranial implosion. Subsequent tests will occur every 3-5 years. When you do not submit to the testing you will become a fugitive who will most likely be exterminated by the DEATH SQUAD, unless you turn yourself in for voluntary extermination. These tests will involve a helmet and electrodes to read intelligence, measured in the BQ, or BILL QUOTIENT. A BQ of lower than 8 shall be exterminated.

The purpose of this test is to eliminate the idiots and grunts, and leave behind a master race of intelligence and free thought. Hence, there shall be absolutely no censorship of free thought and ideas, because free thought suppression has brought down so many famous empires, like Communist Mother Russia and Germany. We will eliminate the concept of non-controlled television, only for the reason that our studies hath shown that they lower BQ scores. If they stay the same or go down it shall be reinstated. For now, television shall be limited to 2 channels, one for news, information, and pornography. The other will be a channel celebrating the life and achievements of your supreme ruler. Television viewing will be limited to an hour a day. Hopefully you will lose your time wisely.

Part One

Part Three

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